Putting coping mechanisms in place to help your mind and body
Whilst retirement for some can be a reward for decades of hard work, for others it can be a major trigger of stressful situations, impacting on an individual’s mental health and a cause of anxiety and depression.
Developing effective coping mechanisms and building emotional resilience is key to feeling good about this next chapter of your life.
Retirement is a major life transformation that takes place over many years, as we move from our existing life into one we have yet to know.
“People make the decision to retire based on an economic state rather than a life state,”
– Mitch Anthony, Retirement Coach
Picturing our perfect retirement, whether it be packed with exciting travel plans, more quality time with friends and family or finding the time to pick up much-awaited hobbies like gardening or painting is a regular daydream for many of us facing the grind of the 9-5 workplace.
We give lots of thought to the financial aspects of retiring, but very little to the ability to adapt and the psychological impact of leaving work.
The early excitement of leaving work and the day to day commitments of professional life can appear a relief to start with. No more morning alarms, pressing emails or interrupting phone calls. It may even feel like one long holiday.
This initial feeling can soon wear off, leaving you missing a sense of identity, purpose and meaning that your previous working life offered, and the social support that your co-workers gave you.
“It’s very important to think about your identity and what you’re losing, and how you get a new identity…”
– Nancy Schlossberg
Instead of experiencing the thrill of freedom and enjoying your new life, you may experience feelings of isolation, boredom and anxiety. You may be worried about how you will fill the endless days ahead of you, and the effect that will have on your mental health, and on your friends and family.
No matter how much you have been eagerly anticipating your retirement, retiring from work is a stressful situation for even the most resilient of people.
The benefits of retirement can feel outweighed by the stress and the impact on your mind and body.
One study suggests that in the first year of retirement, people are 40% more likely to experience a heart attack or stroke than those who work. Retired men are 40% more likely than employed men to experience depression.
“Physical activity and exercise can help you stay healthy, energetic and independent as you get older”
– NHS Website
Remaining physically active and maintaining a healthy lifestyle in retirement are two ways in which to reduce the negative effects of stress and prolong a healthy and rewarding retirement for your mind and body.
Apart from that fact it feels good, it will also reduce the time you may take recovering from age-related illnesses or injuries, and let you roll with the punches that retirement throws at you.
“Visualize the kind of person you want to become [in retirement], share it with other people and get their feedback.”
– Karl Pillemer
Ken Dychtwald, co-author of “Age Wave” identified five phases of retirement: imagination; anticipation; liberation; reorientation; and reconciliation.
Once you are past the imagination stage and all its hopes, the anticipation stage is key to gaining a reality check on what retirement will mean to you, and how you will spend potentially the next 30 years or longer.
Understanding this stage, and the social support you may need in retirement will help build your emotional resilience and manage the stress that retirement could bring.
“Resilience is accepting your new reality, even if it’s less good than the one you had before. You can fight it, you can do nothing but scream about what you’ve lost, or you can accept that and try to put together something that’s good.”
– Elizabeth Edwards, Author
Maintaining and expanding social contacts, staying physically active and even considering part-time or voluntary work, will build your resilience and equip you for any difficult situations you may face along the way.
Over just a couple of years, you will develop a new sense of purpose and a new sense of who you are.
Many people about to retire do not know how dramatic the life transformation will be. A few of us will know exactly what to expect, the rest of us will have to work it out as we go on the journey.
Many of us may be financially ready to embrace this chapter, but our emotional resilience is unprepared.
Regardless of whether the prospect of retirement is something you are looking forward to or not, there are healthy coping mechanisms in place to make the challenge less daunting, and ensure that your retirement is something to be celebrated.
“The most important thing people need is to reframe their mind set in terms of what they have to offer the world, and their perspective on aging,”
– Chip Conley, Author “Wisdom @ Work: The Making of a Modern Elder.”
You can plan and prepare for the emotional resilience needed for retirement using my bespoke coaching programme. I can help you address the issues you need to think about when planning your retirement, improving your emotional flexibility and increasing your joy in life, ahead of and during retirement.
To find out more, contact me on:
T: 020 8133 9495
E: info@janeparslow.co.uk